I am finally free. God you saved me from death. I am alive again.

Today I have seen the grandeur of this landscape that is our future home. I am breathless as I have felt the Lord open my eyes to what he has called us to become. I am overwhelmed by the knowledge that we have but some fifty years to lean against the pains of this present world. And as we pine and ache for our own redemption, we have a pure knowledge that we will soon, so very soon, find ourselves complete. As if it were tomorrow, I can see the mist in the morning air resting gently upon the trees ... and the eastern hills in the glorious sunrise. We will soon dwell in the deep waters of our God, our hearts ablaze with love.

I am moved to tears as I brush against the eyes of eternity, and I am so thankful that the king has found us worth this great calling. What then will we do with these powerful years—how can we give our hearts to the broken among us and across the world? We with feeble voices speak the language of a God who calls himself love. We have but these few years to watch amazed as he redeems the hopeless.

Depression and fear compel me. But with this I—for the first time—have found that this hope exists through suffering. We are a voice of the countless before us, from now and now on ... We love with our whole hearts and echo through the endless rhythms of grace. God has come near. He has given us more than we could imagine. May our hands wear through the oppression of this world, and war with our own broken hearts. May his love be ours. Our great king lives among us in every corner of this world—between the distances of our hearts mended together—for we are alive today.

Left with the disassembled inner workings of my heart.

These last few months have been hell for me...

The will of the human heart is blinding.
I am falling apart. I feel so abandoned.

Jesus, I need you so much. I have no idea how to trust again.
The cruel weight of this broken heart is too much...

All my life I have watched this, I know you know.
I am crushed I am crushed. I am crushed.