"You called me; you cried aloud to me; you broke my barrier of deafness. You shone upon me; your radiance enveloped me; you put my blindness to flight. You shed your fragrance about me; I drew breath and now I gasp for your sweet odour. I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you. You touched me, and I am inflamed with love of your peace."

Saint Augustine

When the day comes that I will cling to him with my whole being, learning no more sorrow. I want to go home.

I believe that I am guilty of sacrificing truth in order to defy a sub-culture Christianity that sells Jesus and tells me what's right and wrong. Let me explain.

Have you ever felt like one of those people who, if not now, felt somewhat frustrated when following the masses? I used to be bad with this. I always looked for the opposite of what's "popular" in order to feel somewhat above what everyone else was doing. It's a form of pride that's more visible than others. I have to say that I have been guilty of this elitist mentality even as I have grown closer to the father. I have to admit that its been hard as I have seen a sub-culture christianity taint the gospel and domesticate Jesus. Instead of facing the problem by extracting people from the equation in order to love them and help them find freedom, I gave up on them. I gave up a few years ago after feeling overwhelmed with a few of the situations I was in. There are no excuses. I found the deconstructive movement quite helpful at the time, but there comes a time when enough has been torn apart that you find foundation. Truth.

In my attempts to please my pride, I believe that I sacrificed the truth that may have very well been presented by the christian subculture. I feel like the beauty of our maker is lost in our consuming, self help lives, but truth is truth, wether it's delivery is lacking heart or not. I have put up a fight when truth lacking love is delivered. Instead of being angry and rolling my eyes at the lack of creativity in "christian" music, or distancing myself from people when i find them insincere, i must draw close to them! Who am I to judge the heart of an action? This seems so awful as I write this, I must ask that any reader would forgive my arrogance! There is truth and it leads to a person. Love. Love lends himself to our hearts that we may feel complete!


hope>truth>faith>love>Jesus>completion.


(im still wrestling with that last equation, so feel free to form your own) Anyhow, I love you and ask your prayers as I learn to live in his precious light.

Am I unfit for You
Remember me, the one who turned from you
I come in rags tattered by the fall
And all the earth, a witness to my crime

Mercy, weep over me
Let Your tears wash me clean
Majesty, be merciful with me
For my eyes have seen Holy

Hear my prayer at night
Let the morning find me alive
For I am tired and weakened by the fall
Let all the earth bear witness to my cry

Mercy, weep over me
Let Your tears wash me clean
Majesty, be merciful with me
For my eyes have seen Holy

Let the amen sound from heaven as you lift my soul
Let the amen sound from heaven as you lift my soul
Let the angels sound from heaven, holy is the Lord

bebo norman- my eyes have seen holy


My heart breaks at the thought that the entire world bears witness to my crime. the trees the waters the skies all mourn my offenses. My heart then breaks in half at the knowledge that there is a God who is so merciful as to make me new.
I am short of breath at the artist who spends his entire heart to make me into something beautiful.